I read an article earlier today about the EPA, in which they now consider milk to be a hazardous material.
It’s about the feds wanting dairy farmers to develop spill prevention plans. I guess now the idiom “crying over spilled milk” will have a different meaning.
EPA stands for Environmental Protection Agency.
But this is the best definition of EPA – Epic Proportion Assplosion – When the assplosion is so forceful and hard it basically coats the bowl in one huge deluge of shit. The result is a dirty, steamy, gas mask induced defecation. Or at least this is what I think of every time I hear someone from the EPA speak who has a severe case of “diarrhea of the mouth.”
This is from the article I read earlier. Farmers like Frank Konkel, co-owner of Silver Sky Dairy run smaller dairy farms in West Michigan. He loves what he does, but is frustrated with the latest ruling by the EPA. “I don’t know if someone in Washington, when they wrote up these rules, had actually been to a dairy farm or not,” says Konkel. Dairy farmers would be required to develop a spill prevention plan. “Pertinent to what happened in the Gulf (of Mexico), at a catastrophic level, this doesn’t even stack up,” says Konkel.
A few years ago I worked as a truck driver hauling liquid chocolate in a tanker for the major chocolate companies in the mid-west and eastern United States. The chocolate was edible inside my tank, most of which you could have dipped out and ate once it cooled to a solid – we kept heat on it so it would unload easier. After every load of chocolate, if you were not reloading exactly the same product “top loading” the tank would have to be washed out prior to picking up another load. Some tank washes charged up to $3000.00 to wash a chocolate load out.
One particular tank wash we would go to in Pennsylvania all the time – I was able to get to know the owner fairly well. Sometimes late at night we would hold a BS session with the workers of the tank wash and the owner would join in. He told me that he had to put in “special containment tanks” just for the chocolate washouts. The EPA considered chocolate a hazardous material once it had been washed out of a tanker with hot water. He was not allowed to let the chocolate run on the ground. But he was allowed to give it to a farmer down the road so he could feed it to his cows – that would defecate it onto the ground.
In conclusion I think the government should do a study on cows to see what kind of filtering system they have built inside them that turns a hazardous material into a product such as manure that makes it OK to put it on our “garden vegetables.”
At the conclusion of the hearing of the Senate Agriculture and Bioeconomy Committee this past week in Washington the panel ended up passing a resolution urging the EPA to take back the regulation that makes “milk” a hazardous material.
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